When your relationship is hurting, understanding the problem isn’t always enough.
You probably already know your arguments by heart.
One of you brings up a concerns. The other explains, defends, or shuts down, maybe escalates eventually. One turns the emotional volume up while the other tries to turns it down. One gets frustrated, pushes harder, then gives up and shuts down. And then maybe you switch places entirely.
Different argument. Same pattern. Same distance afterward.
On a bad day, you start wondering: Is this EVER going to change?
You may be coming to therapy for the first time. Or you may have been in therapy before and understand quite a lot about yourself already.
Emotionally Focused Therapy goes beyond insight.
Rather than talking about the problem, we slow down what is happening between you as it happens. We pay attention to the emotions, protective reactions, and relational patterns that keep taking over when something important is at stake.
This isn’t therapy where I simply listen while you have the same conversation you’ve been having at home a hundred times.
And it is not about collecting more communication tips. You can Google communication tips for free. Maybe you already have.
Let me guide you through a different process.
We slow the pattern down, understand what keeps it going, and work directly with the moments where change needs to happen.
For couples, that can mean learning how to ask for what you need effectively, respond instead of protect, repair injuries, and rebuild emotional safety and trust.
For individuals, it can mean understanding what happens inside you when relationships activate fear, anger, withdrawal, self-doubt, or the need to protect yourself—and developing a different way of responding.
You already know where it hurts. My job is to help you change what happens when it hurts.
If you’re tired of trying to think, talk, or self-help your way out of the same patterns, it may be time to experience something different.
About Kristina
I’m Kristina Wells, Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples and individuals.
I work with what happens in the room: catching the moments where things usually go sideways and you get stuck, getting underneath the protections and reactivity, and helping you create something different.
Why this work feels different:
You know how quickly it often happens. You’re having the same fight over and over but it is not really communication issue. When something important feels at risk, one of you may push harder, while the other explains, defends, or shuts down. Before you know it, you’re both reacting and neither of you feels heard.
Emotionally Focused Therapy helps us slow those moments down and understand what’s really happening underneath the surface argument. That’s where you get a chance to respond differently and begin to feel differently with each other.
Less repeating the same fight. Less defensiveness and shutdown. More repair and connection.
Attachment-focused therapy helps you:
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Stop having the same painful arguments on repeat and change what keeps you stuck there
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Talk about what really matters without defensiveness, shutdown, or walking on eggshells
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Actually repair what happened so the same hurt doesn’t keep resurfacing (that same issue that is being brought up from a number of years ago? It was not actually repaired)
This isn’t about “fixing” you or your partner.
It’s about deep relational change that communication tips just don't fix.
Find the right place to start
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Relational Therapy for One
Sometimes you just need individual support.
Maybe your partner won’t come to therapy. Maybe you keep finding yourself in places where the same patterns happen again and again. Or maybe past experiences continue to shape how safe and close you can feel with someone today.
Mailing address
1271 NE HWY 99w #126
McMinnville OR 97128
Phone
971-267-2789
