When You’re the One in the Therapy Chair
I know you understand attachment, recognize patterns and protective strategies and can name a list of healthy coping skills at a drop of a hat if someone were to wake you up in the middle of the night. Yet you are still caught finding yourself in those same very patterns you can list and name and teach to others. Because you are also just a human and are not immune to the very struggles you help others navigate.
Welcome, I enjoy working with colleagues.
Knowing what happens does not necessarily mean you are never caught in it.
Sometimes being the one who understands, holds, makes sense of things can make it harder to find a space where you don't have to do it. I know how easy it is to slip into insight and intellectualization of your own experience, you do not have to explain this. And you don’t have to leave your professional knowledge at the door, either.
The habit will probably kick in and you may start analyzing your own responses (or mine!), evaluating the therapeutic process while you are in it, explaining your experiences through clinical jargon. You will likely land in my office with a very well-developed understanding of why you feel the way you do and why you do things the way you do.
That is ok and I can handle that. And you do not have to be the therapist here.
Insight and change aren't always the same thing. And the very skills that make you effective in your work can become ways of keeping distance from your own vulnerability. You do not need another space where you can be the insightful one. But you may need a relationship where you can be frustrated, curious, unsure, overwhelmed, scared and simply human. I believe meaningful change happens through having new emotional experiences.
Let’s Explore Working Together
I offer individual psychotherapy for therapists throughout Oregon, both in person in McMinnville and virtually statewide.
We can start with a brief introductory conversation to learn more about what brings you here, answer your questions, and see whether my approach might be a good fit.
My work is grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), attachment science, and experiential approaches to emotional change.
Rather than developing more insight, let's pay attention to what happens in the moments when those patterns you already know all about take over.
